Sorry, I've been swearing a lot... well, just lately. I feel so honest and so sure that I'm currently struggling in the stage of human life when one's wondering 'which is worse: getting older or getting wiser'.
Before you proceed, I'd like to advise you that this blog is a blog of a drama queen. That sounds more of a warning, darling.
I got a job. That's expected.
I got business plans. That's truly expected. Especially, by people who really, really know me.
I got an asthma attack. Expected, too. Stress, NCR's pollution, my kind of transportation everyday are the best culprits, of course. Thus, it is intensely expected... by my mom and my specialist.
I've been shivering, shaking, dramatically palpitating, hallucinating, overthinking, laughing so hard at very trivial nonsense matters, crying and sleeping-like-a-baby-I-wake-up-every-two-hours.
Apparently, I feel weak... physically and emotionally. You see my mind, to be very honest, is not healthy. I feel shitty and so fucked up!
Despite of these... or should I say... BECAUSE of these, now, I have to make a final decision.
My mind is in turmoil and nerve cells have been grouped to two and they are debating. This decision making is affecting me as a career-person and as an entrepreneur. Oh yes, and as an eldest-daughter, too! Shit.
This is not as difficult as deciding what meal you'll order in McDonalds, what shirt you'll wear for the whole freaking day and what t.v. series you'll watch for marathon.
No. This is much much much difficult-er.
I have to choose one.
A person cannot serve two gods at a time.
I have to decide using my freewill and intellect that the Awesome Dude One has given me.
So help me God.